A Safe Refuge

At sixteen the world
Is still a new place
While young to leave home
Many have begun their vocation
Indeed, it was a year
To learn the gifts given
For eager I had set off
A new school, in a new town
An extension of summer camp
With new friend's met
A chance given to be at a
School run by my faith.

Without regrets, oh, callow youth
I dusted off my hometown roots
Sailing into adventure wide-eyed
Safe in my journey, not looking back.
But in three weeks time
The reality of my change
Hit my youthful optimism
My feet slipping and unable to feel
The rug of familiar ties.

So to the church I fled
One night, plotted carefully
Aided by my room mate
I brought my sleeping bag
Tucked it under the side tabernacle altar
And hid beneath until the church
Was to be locked for the night.
I could see the priest
Genuflect in front of me
His eyes not directed downward
Preoccupied in thought
As I held my breath
And then he was gone and I
With the Lord above me
Was all alone.

Ah, the silence broken at last
By an outpouring of youthful tears
The aisles paced in the safety of solitude
As I wondered out loud
At my hastily chosen fate
My newly made friends
Had busy lives
It was I who had the task at hand
To find my way
Sustained with prayers from home.

At last I was calm
Tired from the struggle
To sort my confusing thoughts
I sang as I sat on the altar stairs
Not unlike the times of old
When music raised questions
Before the Lord.
Then weary I crept to
My bed upon the floor
My heart emptied and still
And there I slept until
Awoken at six when a vigil
Candle glass exploded.

It's true that dawn
Brings hope
Stiff and sore but content
I listened for the elderly
Caretaker to finish his morning prayers
I carefully appeared in a pew
Aware that his eyes were suspicious
At the hair unkempt and the noiseless entrance
But I kept my head down
Ready for my coming year.

It was in this church
Almost forty years later
Face down on the floor
Our new shepherd
Received his ordination
The Church sending forth
Future's hope into the world and
Safe refuge for Her own.